Beach Maternity Photo's

Here are some maternity photos I had done by a friend at the beach <3 I'm doing another shoot tomorrow afternoon at a park. I'm having so much fun doing these photos that will last a lifetime and Kaeley will be able to look back on them as well.  

life's perfect imperfections.

   The past week has been a challenge, but an eye opener. It's teaching me I'm stronger than I thought. I CAN do this. I've come to a point where yes, it's going to be hard being a single mama, but maybe this is what I was born to do....maybe I don't want to share her and all of the choices I get to make to raise her into a beautiful young women.
   I've got a plane B, C and D in the works with many options. I'm so blessed to have so many people backing me up and supporting me through this big life choice.
   I am calm and relaxed considering all that is going on because I know it's all going to work out and I trust god is guiding me right now to do what is best for Kaeley and I.
   I have reached out to friends I've lost through out my time with Tim because he didn't like them and in a way brain washed me to not like them either. I'm so happy they understand what I'm going through and I have them back in my life.
   I've learned I'm not alone, people, family...have been down the same road I've been down and they are giving me great advice that I take in like it's gold. I can't get enough advice,...some of it I leave at the door but a lot of it is helpful in what I'm dealing with day to day.
   I've already made the change where I want to give birth....I was pushed into tri city hospital because that is what he wanted. I'm going to look into a birthing center tomorrow, because it's what has spoken to me, even before I was pregnant.
   I may be uncomfortable because Kaeley is pushing out my ribs, sitting on my bladder and every time she moves she is kicking bones...but I just keep telling myself every time I'm in pain "I'm one step closer" Until next time I'll be pregnant and sassy <3
 

38 more days

38 more days and counting. Here are all three ultrasound photos together. <3

33 weeks

Seven weeks to go! My last doctors appointment didn't go so well. I lost weight and my blood pressure is high. I need to stop and relax....hard to do when I'm being thrown curve balls left and right. I'm a little more calm today, and trying to take it easy.
I'm starting to put together my hospital bag and write out my birth plan.
I took maturity photos last night and can't wait to see them. We are going to do a second shoot in a few weeks.
I'm ready for bed, until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy.

Ultrasound photo

She is in the head down position,  with both feet nicely jammed into my ribs. She is measuring big at 3lbs 9oz. She has the perfect amount of amniotic fluid and my cervix are good and no longer a concern. This photo is a front view of her eyes, nose and chubby cheeks. She is to smooched to get a side profile.

32 weeks

I've been a home cooking/baking machine! I made a menu on Monday, went grocery shopping and so far have made: chicken mozzarella pesto stuffed chicken. homemade crock pot chilli and had a tastadas bar that Autumn loved. Along with from scratch cupcakes that  I'm obcessed with. I don't know if this is part of the "nesting" stage but I'm into it haha.
Today I got 85% of the rest of things that I need before Kaeley arrives. Including my dream diaper bag I've been in love with for a year now, so happy they still had it and I got a savy 20% off thank you internet.
I'm feeling so big without looking "big" when Kaeley moves she shifts my whole abdomen...hurts! She is a strong little girl who can't sit still for long.
Next week I'm going to pack my hospital bag and get Kaeleys and Tims belonging ready to go for the big day.
Until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy.

8 months

Today makes 8 month mark. Today, I'm feeling a little better. The last week I've been experiencing Braxton Hicks and a lot of rib pain. She is officially in the head down position and her feet are ALWAYS in my ribs.
I have my third trimester ultrasound next week to measure the ambiotic fluid. Then right after that I get to go to the Dentist to get my teeth cleaned for the first time in ten years...
I had my baby shower last weekend, it was a fast trip but all the same was so much fun and loved seeing my friends and dad. I only have a few photos from my phone, the rest are on my camera and will stay there until I get internet.
Until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

Diabetes test

Yesterday I had a three hour long diabetes test. It was probably the most miserable time I've had so far being pregnant. I couldn't eat, I had to drink a cough syrup like drink in two minutes....I don't chug well. Then get my blood drawn three times, once every hour. I got so sick, dizzy and nauseous.... On to of that I had to entertain a hyper active six year old lol I'm so happy yesterday is in the past! I'll find out my test results Wednesday or Thursday if I have pregnancy diabetes.
Only 11 weeks to go before I meet Kaeley! Until next time I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

29 weeks

I can not believe I only have 11 weeks to go! I'm loving being pregnant so much I'm going to miss it! I've been so busy with prepping for the nursery, I still have so much to do! I still need a crib mattress, make a creosol, wash all her clothes in special detergent, get a breast pump, baby monitor, bottles.... And so on. Im getting my first sewing machine from Tim's dad, I'm excited to sew blankets, a car seat cover and other little things...I may be calling you mom for help haha. I'm still working part time and on average going to three doctors appointments a week for various things.
We still have Autumn four nights a week and court is coming up fast.
My belly is getting bigger and bigger and I can see her movements and tell when she is more on one side than the other.
My baby shower is in about a week! I'm excited to go up to Ojai and see everyone, but not looking forward to a long drive.
I've been eating thai food like its going out of style....red curry coconut chicken over rice...I can't get enough of haha.
Until next time I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

Day 178

Its so crazy thinking I've been pregnant for 178 days and only have 102 days ish to go. This experience has by far been the craziest experience I've ever gone through. When I feel her kick and roll it's the strangest feeling...I'm never really alone haha.
I saw the nutritionist yesterday, she said my weight is on point and I'm healthy. I got tested for TB and that came back negative, all good things.
Kaeley is about two pounds now and growing quickly.
Until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

25 weeks

So many wonderful things are happening right now. We got approved for our place (thank you grandma and mama for the extra help) I'm so blessed. We move in Aug 5th at 8:30am Autumn is SO excited, I can't wait to surprise her with her new room that Thursday.
Today I registered at Babies R Us and had so much fun planning for everything I needed for little Kaeley.
I'm loving working two days a week. Keeps me just busy enough with all my doctors appointments and pays all my little bills.
I'm feeling more and more excited everyday. My belly is growing and I'm right on track with my weight. My DEEP belly button is starting to pop out and I'm loving it. I don't have the dark line yet on my belly, I kind of hope I don't. I still have no stretch makes AND pray I don't get them haha.

Six months prego

Three more months to go! This weekend we celibrated our friends Crissy and Dustins baby shower she is about two and a half months ahead of me and having a girl named Mackenzie.
Autumn and I went to the beach and it was my babies first ocean experience... She couldn't stop kicking!
We officially have a name picked out!
Kaeley Auna Kasner <3 I picked out the first name and Tim picked the middle and the spelling of the first. Her name means Pure; slender and beautiful.
I got a job! I start tomorrow, only two - three days a week and watching two cute little girls, I can bring Autumn with me and my new boss is very nice and flexible.
We ALMOST have our apartment and if all goes right we move in on the 5th of August...that would be the best birthday gift ever to move into our new place.
My baby shower is on August 30th...its going to be small but Samantha us having so much fun planning it. I'm so blessed to have such a great best friend <3
The past few weeks have been pretty much the same, heart burn and not sleeping through the night....but now every time I sneez I pee my pants...not pleasant and probably to much information haha
Until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy

We are having a.....

We are having a GIRL! Below is her side profile at 21 weeks. She is 100% healthy and on track. I've gained 8 pounds so far and she is ten inches long and just about three-quarters of a pound.
Samantha and I had a deal if it's a girl she has to get pregnant and try for a girl so they could be best friends... Maybe we will just settle for an arranged marriage between her son Preston and our daughter... Is that frowned upon now a day haha ;)
We couldn't be more blessed that she is so healthy, no down syndrome and growing at the perfect rate.
I've been brain storming names all day and going to have a serious talk with Tim to pick a finalized name so I can start making some custom oncies.
Autumn is going to be so excited for a sister! I can't wait to tell her tomorrow <3
Until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy

Half way mark

Sunday was my official half way mark. Things are getting less stressful in some areas and more stressful in other areas.

I'm still on the hunt for a job....my car is STILL in the shop and going to cost one arm, one leg and my sanity to get out. I've been relying on Tim's dad to drive me around, let's just say its about time to revoke his license.

My bankruptcy is officially filed! So I'm blessed and excited about that.

We are still waiting on our apartment to become available so we are patiently waiting.

We find out if we are having a boy or girl on July 2nd!!! I can't wait <3

I've been feeling overall pretty good, baby has been practicing back flips and moving around so much I have bruised ribs haha.

Seems like I'm right on track on my weight gain and my uterus is where it needs to be. Baby is six inches long now! So crazy! Time is flying by!!!! Until next time I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

19 weeks

19 weeks, one week until I'm at the half way mark. Time is truly flying by!

I'm still looking for employment... I've had a few interviews, but due to the summer every high school student is a "nanny" and work for less. I have an interview Tuesday, so I'm crossing my fingers.

Yesterday, on the way to see my mid wife my car took a dump and now is in the shop until monday....I feel so lost without my car and has made for a boring slow weekend.

I pretty much have heart burn all the time, but all nausea has gone away...just tired and needing little cat naps.

We passed our credit check for our three bedroom apartment and put half the deposit down...so next available apartment is ours!!! I hope someone gives notice this month, I want to start nesting! I've been going to child second hand stores just to check everything out and seems like I can get everything I need for baby on a tight budget, so we can 100% afford moving out and getting a new car eventually.

I've been looking up some classes, and they offer a class fully dedicated to cloth diapering... Something I never really thought about but may think about it if I know how to do it in the least gross way....I've only used disposable diapers but it seems like such a waist, and some new dippers have been giving babies chemical burns.

This blog has officially been all over the place, but I'm trying to multitask taking care of Autumn and trying not to go stir crazy with no car haha. Until next time, I'll be sassy and pregnant. 

Child book tears

I'm so pregnant its not even funny! I've probably read these two books to Sophie 100 times...now that I'm pregnant I can't get through half the book without busting into tears. It's not just books...it's commercials, seeing parents playing with their kids at the park....just about everything! I'm one big ball of stereotypical  emotions haha until next time I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

Baby kick! I think....

Today while laying Sophie down for her nap and watching doc mcstuffins with her I was laying very still and swear I felt him or her kick! It could have been my food settling in my tummy or maybe it was a kick :) either way I'll consider this the first magical baby kick! I can't wait for more kicks and hiccups and rolling arounds. This whole experience has been amazing in every way <3

Photo was taken today 17 weeks 4 days

Nanny vs Mama

This has been on my mind the last two weeks or so. I'm such a stricked schedule enforced nanny. Don't get me wrong, we have a ton of fun but they respect me.

When the kids parents are around its like I don't even know the kids....they have little respect for there parents and I, they run a muck, yell, scream, throw tantrums about anything and everything...as soon as mom and dad leave I start enforcing our routine and they snap out of it...any tantrum behavior lingering I just set them in time out and then talk to them...I will only need to do this some mornings or after they talk to there parents on the phone...after that they are fine! They do as they are told, take naps when I ask and follow the rules I've given them....all kids do act out here and there for attention or because they are tried or hungry.... normal...but for a solid hour of whining and tantrums are not.

I feel like the parents always overly call, text  or helicopter because they feel like there kids are out of control and don't know if I can handle it, but in reality because of structure it is always easy until they step in. When I tell them one is napping and the other is playing quite, they all have had the same reaction of what did you do with my kids... as if I stuffed them in a closet or something!

My concern is: are my kids going to do this to me? Am I going to get lazy and just let them walk all over me? Am I not going to care as much about schedule and discipline because its "easier"?

Every family I've nannied for its been the same deal as above...most of my friends that have kids (NOT ALL) but most have problems with raising there kids and let them run the show, so when they go to tell them no its a big drawn out ordeal...it's NEVER my place to tell a parent how to parent...that would lead to defensiveness, and who really wants to deal with that.

I don't feel like this will happen to me, I treat Autumn the same way as the kids I nanny, but with a lot more cuddling and hugs....but will it be different when I give birth and have this baby attached to my hip 24/7 will my effectiveness fade away and just get lost in bad habits and routine over the years?

Maybe because I've seen the rights and "wrongs" of raising children I can avoid this? I can be aware of the changes in behavior in my child and see what habits I'm in and change them before they turn into habits... Ultimately I feel like a child feed's off your habits and behavior's, so if your child is acting out its something the parents are doing or exposing them to.

I guess I won't REALLY know until I'm in the situation years from now. Until then I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

17 weeks and weekend fun

I'm 17 weeks! I only have a week and a half left of work and frantically trying to find a new one...something just part time, so I can contribute and not stress about bills and buying stuff for the baby at my own free will. ... It will happen, I just need to start thinking outside of the box. Maybe even waitress a few days a week to get an hourly and tips. I just need to make sure I have time for my doctors appointments and classes for the baby before anything right now because I have been neglecting. I'll find out gender in about two weeks, just need to schedule an ultrasound :)

We unofficially officially (makes no sense) but anything can change until it's put on legal paper names:

Boy: Kross Scott Kasner
Girl: Brook Kasner (still undecided about middle name) I like Grace though.

Tim is set on Brook and I'm not, I'm set on Kross but he isn't so we decide if its a girl I'll settle for Brook and if its a boy he will settle for Kross. Neither one of us HATE either name, just not our first picks.

Overall I'm feeling good, a little low energy in the morning and pretty much zobie at night but mid morning all the way to late afternoon I'm pretty high energy.

I allow myself one caffeinated pop a day... Not what I wanted to do, but I'm enjoying the little extra pep :)

This weekend was so much fun. It started with a tea party with Miss Autumn. Talking with eaglish accents, decaffeinated green tea and real gold plated China from England. She couldn't get over how pretty her cup was.

Autumn also lost her FIRST tooth with us! So exciting that we got to share this with her, I went all out :) I left a trail from the cracked window to her pillow of fairy dust, a note to autumn from the tooth fairy, $2 and then she went into the bathroom to find out that the tooth fairy had used the potty (fairy dust was left behind) and she left her all new tooth brushing supplies.

We had also gone to the wild west fest so she could ride the mechanical bull, see her favorite animal the peacock and she got to make her own cowgirl hat :)

We also enjoyed the rest of the afternoon at the pool in our matching mossy oak bikini's.

I loved that she was ecstatic all weekend, and not upset at any point. She needs that extra love with all the stress that is going on around her. I'm just happy I can help.

Until next time I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

Small Blatter

Haha saw these and couldn't stop laughing, pretty much how I'm feeling right now...."I need dis" haha

4 months pregnant!

I'm so excited! I can find out the gender any time now... I've put a hold on all doctors appointments until I finish my last day of work June 11th just so I can spend as much time with the kids before I don't see them everyday like I do now, I'm also in save mode, so it's crunch time!

I'm missing sushi so much, also goat cheese...although, I've been told some goat cheeses are okay to eat while pregnant.

I've got my first breastfeeding class on June 12th and can't wait! Who really gets this excited for a breastfeeding class other than me haha.

I can't wait to see if we get this apartment, I want to start nesting and getting all my do it yourself projects started! I'm going to make all the babies t shirts, oncies and leggings custom with fabric paint. I also want to do some basic sewing of a car seat cover and privacy breastfeeding wrap. I'm also going to be making a bunch of baby blankets...maybe even take up crocheting! I ALSO want to start the tradition of making homemade family stockings for Christmas....

If we get this apartment, I truly want it to be the mutual gathering ground for family. Easter, thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. Between my family if they choose to travel and Tims close family. All I want is everyone to be able to have a gathering place for the holidays and I'm not so bad of a cook either ;) I'm so blessed to be marring into such an amazing a little crazy but amazing family that has my back and now getting much closer to all my family as well. Family is important and the key to want I want to raise my child/family around. Until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

The storm is over! So we hope <3

After a bunch of stressful, disappointed and hard days we finally got a break.

Tim met with our lawyer for autumn yesterday, he expressed we really need to find a place where autumn can have her own or share a room with the baby stat....within 30 minutes I get a call from a low income apartment that I put our name on the waiting list four months ago. I could not believe it! 3 bedroom, 2 full bath 1,200 sq ft in the best neighborhood in north San Diego. We still need to jump through some hoops to call the place below home but it's looking good so far, a credit check is all that stands in our way. Tim only has bad credit from hospital bills so I HOPE that doesn't disqualify us.

Tim hasn't had work in over a week, he thought he was being laid off... Stressful considering my job ends in two weeks. We got a call from Tims cousin saying he starts at his company on Tuesday and will be making more money and working for family.

God is at work!

Tim has mediation this afternoon for custody over Autumn. We are hoping for an agreement to come to terms, doubtful but hopeful. If they can't come to an agreement then Tim will be fighting for full custody while his ex moves to Hawaii. I'll assume she will be fighting for the same, but we have god on our side, family and her whole life is here. We just want what is best for autumn, witch is both her parents, both her grandparents (that she is very attached to) and all her friends and school is here not in Hawaii.

I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason and its all going to work out. What goes around comes around. Until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy <3 

Am I showing yet!?

Being almost 15 weeks pregnant little Sophie  (the 3 year old I nanny) is the only one who thinks I look pregnant.... Her exact words "miss Joie, your belly is fat because you are having a baby" haha at least someone thinks I look prego. I'm eating as much as I can all the time and nothing is working! Until next time, I'll be pregnant and sassy <3 and eating everything in sight.

Baby's first picture

I had my first ultrasound today and found out I'm a week ahead of schedule. I'm officially 13 weeks 5 days and our due date is on November 9th instead of the 16th.

The past four days have been rough, I've had incredibly itchy hands and feet....just my hands and feet...so random, I prepped for itchy boobs and a itchy tummy but my hands and feet...really! 

I'm so thrilled that I'm a week ahead, one less week until I get to meet our baby! One less week I have to wait to find out if it's a boy or girl. I'm so excited! Until next time I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

Best father and soon to be step daughter

I couldn't be more excited to share my life with these two. We told Autumn over the weekend that she was going to be a big sister...she couldn't be more excited! She is obcessed with the name Brook if its a girl. I'm still rooting for a boy and the name Cross Kasner haha Autumn talks to the baby and draws her pictures everyday. It looks like the courts are more likely at this point going to grant Tim 50/50 custody although its not set in stone yet, we are praying next month it is permanent. Until then, I'll be pregnant and sassy <3

12 weeks

I'm officially in my second trimester and couldn't be more excited. The second most hard part is over and I'm in what they say the most enjoyed part of pregnancy. I get to experience my first ultrasound on Monday, in a few short weeks I'll start to feel the baby kick and feel baby hiccups. I'll find out the gender of the baby and get to start preparing. I'm feeling less and less sick now, just a few hours at night. I'm craving cream cheese and gummy bears. I do find myself having severe anxiety attack's since I've been pregnant, so I'm doing EVERYTHING in my power just to stay calm and relax...easier said than done at times. Overall I'm just a big ball of emotions, pretty normal from what I've read. Until next time I'll be pregnant and sassy <3